Dimension Jump XV

OK, I've been through the happy stage, now I'm in the melancholy stage.

My name is Andy and I am a smeghead. Not easy to admit that out loud, but I have spent the weekend in the company of some hardcore Red Dwarf fans, so now is as good time so say it as it'll ever be.

So my brother and I attended Dimension Jump this weekend in Birmingham, celebrating 21 years since the launch of Red Dwarf on the BBC. Having been avid fans since childhood, and having infuriated family members by dropping scripts into normal conversation, it was quite weird, yet reassuring, to be surrounded by folk who go through the same bonkers routine as we do.

The latest episodes, Back To Earth, gave UKTV channel Dave its highest viewing figures of all time, and gave a classic show a whole new audience. Although this was the fifteenth convention, the vast majority were attending for the first time, and the news was that the whole main cast would be attending.

For the well-initiated, there are a few givens about the cast members:

1. Danny John Jules will be late
2. Craig Charles will swear like an angry Gordon Ramsey
3. Hattie Hayridge will always be there in time of a crisis.

After an opening pub quiz hosted by Hattie and karaoke on Friday night, the excitement built on Saturday morning. Robert Llewellyn and Chris Barrie would be in the house, chatting on stage, answering questions and signing autographs. Then in the afternoon we'd meet the effects boys, guest actor Richard O'Callaghan, and be able to take part in the Red Dwarf Olympics.

All was going well until the message went out that Robert was running a bit late. Followed a little later by the news that he was still a way away. A long way away. A long long way away. Sorry. Oh, and so was Chris.

So not a great start, but as per (3) above, we were very pleased to welcome Hattie back to the stage. Always appearing to count her lucky stars she was involved, she recounted the time she was accused of soliciting Norman Lovett outside a lapdancing club, and the time she got off a speeding fine because she had two Listers in the back of her car. We love Hattie.

Then we were treated to an impromptu Q+A from one time fan, now Associate Producer, Andrew Ellard , who talked eloquently about his experience on the show, oh and happened to mention that Dave have commissioned scripts for a new series to be released next year. This brought the house down, particularly as it had been at Doug Naylor's request that the fan club found out before the press. It was a privilege to be there to hear that, and I hope the team can deliver over the next 12 months.


After lunch, Robert and Chris finally appeared, having spent far too long on the M6 for anyone's liking. Taking questions like a pro, Chris gave us a bit of Kenneth Williams, Brittas, Tony Blair and all the cast, whilst politely apologising for not being able to recall the script to Son of Cliche. Robert then chatted about his various projects, including Scrapheap, Carpool, Making Do and Twitter. As they went to sign autographs at 1545, little did they know that their day was only just starting.

Back in the main hall, fans were playing pool with planets, testing their luck virus levels with over the shoulder darts, and playing miniature golf. No room for Junior Angler this year then.

Unbelievably it was another 5 hours before this correspondent form the rearguard of the signing session. Ironic really as I had nothing for them to sign, but I thought they deserved a congratulations for a feat of human patience. Robert commented on how patient we all were, but the feeling was mutual. Poor Richard O'Callaghan must've wondered what on earth he had let himself in for.

With the signing session over and the schedule completely shot to ribbons, we were treated to the Fancy Dress competition. Some extremely young kids in penguin costumes, some grown ups who really should know better, the largest Winnie The Pooh I've ever seen, and some extremely dedicated and authentic designs were on display, with my particular favourite being the third place traffic cone. The FX team took to the stage to talk about some of their favourite work, including Doctor Who and Raging Planet, before Richard finally came to the stage to take his spot, pleased presumably to see daylight again.

Sadly that's all I could stay for that night, but no worry we thought. It's Danny tomorrow, so there's no rush. Gutted we were to find ourselves arriving half way through Danny on stage, following a hasty timetable change. We heard about his love of Sammy Davis Jr, the fine work he does with the Willow Foundation, before his daughter joined him on stage for a sing song (she's no more than 2, I'd say). Chloe Annett joined him soon after and talked about her time with the "filthy" boys, as well as how she was nearly on Casualty. Hasn't everyone been on Casualty already?

Naturally, the star billing was given to Craig Charles. A natural stand up, Craig captivates audiences with his enthusiasm for music, poetry, robots and comedy. Except he'd come straight from a gig in Manchester and hadn't really recovered yet... We were even treated to the voicemail left for Danny asking for directions to the venue, signing off with "I love you man". Bless.

A cup of tea, a pint of water and (crucially I think) a lager later, and he was away, strolling through the crowd taking questions, chatting to the ladeez, before finally wearing a full on leather jacket worn by one of the fancy dress competition winners. Very, very rude, extremely funny, still totally passionate about his time with the Boys from the Dwarf.

After lunch, the now predictable very very long line for signatures appeared. So long that some cast members couldn't stay for everyone. After that came the raffle, fabulous prizes (I think my luck was in on the over the shoulder darts), and the chance to bid for some awesome memorabilia.

Sadly it was over too soon, and who knows when the next one might be, or who might be there. If the show does return next year, and the Red Dwarf fans get any say, then it will be shot in front of a live audience, and will star Hattie Hayridge as Holly. Let's hope that the scripts are good, the money is there, and the enthusiasm remains.

And now, dear friends, I return to the outdoors... It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere....

edited - thanks to @ellardent for spotting the typo - that's why he's a script editor you know...